I awoke one morning from a terrifying dream in which my teeth were actually full of pulp and blood vessels and nerves, surrounded by a layer of bony tissue and a thin layer of translucent enamel, all rooted in bone topped with a stiff mucosal tissue that bled when stimulated. This was all true and so it didn’t trouble me beyond the fact that it was very technical and thus of little interest to me. The terrifying part was that in the dream my teeth all began to fall out and yet I continued about my business as though it were a minor inconvenience, trying fruitlessly to plug them back in like I might fidget with unfettered buttons.
I eyed my breakfast with trepidation, feeling under-rested and unsettled. I decided to research such a dream using the internet as a tool. According to one website, a dream about losing teeth suggested anxiety in one’s life relating to one’s teeth falling out. A person who experiences such a dream may be lying to themselves about their dental hygiene. I decided it was time to see a dentist, and if the internet had gotten me this far, it may prove to elucidate yet more.
In my first foray, I must have used vague search terms, for I stumbled upon a site that listed information about dental equipment. It was very professional and business oriented. The website described various dental probes, such as the shepherd’s hook and pigtail, which prod around for incompetence in the enamel’s guardian role, but which, like many surveillance programs, can sometimes open holes which previously did not exist. It continued on to discuss shrill drills with diamond burrs used to change the shape of teeth. I skipped this section because it could lead to odontophobia, and I wanted to keep things positive. I proceeded through the list of fox planes, cowhorns, beavertail burnishers, greyhounds, and canine forceps until I began to wonder whether any given dentist might have rather been a veterinarian, and I decided to reroute my search.
Next, I came upon a dental care enthusiast site, which spoke very highly of the industry and its alluring nuances. It told many positive and interesting tales of people having found their dentist through the dentist’s website itself, which gave me some hope for the success of my own journey. I had so far been afraid to eat my shredded wheats, but at this point I reasoned that my new outlook might grant me both fortitude and caution, and also that my wheats may be somewhat soggy by now, which would help my teeth to win this particular battle.